Alex Haven

By: Alex

Aug 24 2010

Tags: agnostic, atheist, faith, religion

Category: Thoughtful Thoughts, Uncategorized

2 Comments

Not too long ago – a year or two maybe – I posted the most difficult blog entry I ever had to write, in which I admitted that I believed in God.

Now I write again to say that I don’t. I don’t really consider myself an atheist because I will always be open to the potential of the divine, but whatever bit of faith I had has slowly broken down and shattered over the past year. I’d rather not go into the reasons, but it was painful at first. Really painful. Now, though, I feel filled with love and hope and it doesn’t require me fearing wrath. It’s been a long while since I decided that I don’t believe in life after death, but that isn’t a point of fear. It just is. I can still look at the stars and see beauty and feel power and be open to the miraculous without being afraid of or controlled organized religion or rules that tell me that I’m a child of sin. Both Christianity and Buddhism have been fundamental parts of my upbringing, and though they’re still major parts of my life, I really want to find my own path.

It can be scary, but I feel free.